


Hinata was always happy

by Fandomoverload5



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, also ana, as in anorexia, do not read if you get triggerd, dont judge me, i wanted to absolutely crush hinata, intense depression, like suicidal, triggering, trust me - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-07 02:11:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5439578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandomoverload5/pseuds/Fandomoverload5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata was always happy</p><p>Or so they thought</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DO NO TREAD IF YOU GET TRIGGERED EASILY YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
> 
> I actually finished typing it hallelujah (is that how you spell it???? idek)
> 
> I had about 13.8 mental breakdowns typing this okay it hurt me physically to see hinata like this 
> 
> chapter two is an epilogue so theres a time pass ye

was always so happy. He was the light of the sun in others eyes. Hinata smiled in public but drew blood in private. Nobody noticed the jagged lines on his legs and his stomach. Long nights would go by and he would begin to mutter to himself things like

“I’m worthless”

“Why does Kageyama toss to me?”

“He’s the brain, I’m just jumping”

Each word translated to a bloody scar on his body.

“I’m not worthy of Kageyama toss” Blood.

“I don’t deserve to be a starting player, some people are much better than me” Slice. More blood.

It wasn’t just the cuts, Hinata stopped eating. Each rumble in his stomach was motivation to keep starving. He would go days without eating and then practice as hard as he could to burn away the small stomach he had. He convinced himself that even though he was ugly, maybe someone would love him if he was skinny. 

Nobody noticed when Hinata quickly lost 20 pounds. Nobody noticed his bony ribs with jagged lines on them while he changed in the back room. 

Hinata was standing in the back changing room when he noticed he forgot something. Hinata flipped through his clothes, looking for his shirt. 

He desperately searched but to no avail. He threw his dirty clothes over so he didn’t have to worry about them. If he went out now everyone would see his prominent hipbones and scars coating his torso. 

He would have to wait until everyone left to get his stuff.

Hinata heard the door close and the voices fade outside. Hinata scooted out and over to his bag. He dug through his stuff until he finally grabbed his shirt and was about to pull it on when

“Hey sorry I just forgot my-“

“FUCKING GET OUT!” 

Hinata froze and stared into Kageyamas eyes. Kageyama slowly ran his hand down Hinatas bony ribs. 

He looked as though he had just watched his mother die. Hinata stared as a tear slowly rolled down Kageyamas cheek. 

“Why have you done this?” 

“You’d never understand!” 

Hinata brushed the taller boys’ hand away

“You’re attractive! You’re a genius! What am I? I’m a failure!” 

Hinata stepped back and started to walk to the changing room. Kageyama gripped the spiker’s frail arm. 

“You’re more beautiful than you can ever see” 

He spoke so gently, Hinata wanted to believe him. Hinata felt a cold tear run down his face. 

In a matter of seconds Hinata was sobbing. One tear after another fell to the ground. In a moment Kageyama was holding Hinatas face to his shoulders. 

Kageyama laid a kiss on the orange haired boy and muttered

“Stop hurting what I love” 

Hinata began to hyperventilate. He was already dizzy most of the time; he could feel his sight going back. 

“You probably think im disgusting. Why would you ever love me” Hinata choked out. 

“I’m just another spiker” 

“Kageyama was such a good liar. Why was he so much better than me at everything.” Hinata thought, bitterly. 

They stood, Kageyama being the only reason Hinata was still upright. Hinata was the only thing breaking the silence they stood in. 

“Please” Hinata choked out “Don’t let go” 

Hinata was so startled to hear a strangled voice mutter out 

“Never” 


	2. I Was Going To Write An Epilouge So Here It Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What are those marks on your tummy?"
> 
> Hinata brushed the little girls hair back, smiling sadly. 
> 
> "Daddy was trying to protect someone and got injured" Kageyama locked eyes with Hinata in the doorway.
> 
> "He was very brave"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stg if theres any kinkshaming its a child for fuckssake let me use daddy I mean if it was kegeyamz that would be different 
> 
> okay well I said I was gonna do an epilogue in the notes but decided to do it here bc fuck it why not yolo am I right
> 
> its not as sad as the first chapter ebcuase im trying to make my fics not completely heart breaking anymore okay its a new outlook on life
> 
> akemi means sun and I thought that was appropriate also its a hella cute kids name

Hinata smiled as Kageyamas arms lazily wrapped around his waist.

“Morning” he mumbled, still not fully awake.

“Morning sleepy head” Hinata said, nudging Kageyamas head resting on his shoulders.

Hinata continued to pour his coffee, and then grabbed another for his tired husband. 

“Thanks” he mumbled, making his way over to the table. 

Hinata placed the steaming cups onto the table and sat down. He took a small sip, waiting for the liquid to cool down. 

“Do you want me to make breakfast? You go get Akemi; I’ll make some kick-ass pancakes.”

“Gimme a few to absorb this” Kageyama mumbled taking another sip. 

Hinata giggled and got up. He started to get out the mixing bowl and the eggs. 

“Okay I get it; I get it I’ll get her”

Kageyama rose and gave a kiss to the orange haired boy tying an apron around his waist.

He sleepily stumbled to their daughter’s room. Hinata smiled and started cracking the eggs for their breakfast. 

About two minutes later Kageyama comes out of the back room holding their little girl with a grin on his face.

“Look daddy’s making pancakes!” Kageyama pointed at Hinata about to pour the batter onto the pan.

“How many you want sweetie?” Kageyama said, looking at her nose to nose.

“Seven!” she chirped

“Seven?” Kageyama said in mock aspiration.

“I guess I have to eat eight” he said with a sigh.

“No fair! I want nine!”

Hinata left the batter baking on the pan and took Akemi from Kageyamas arms. 

“Can you eat that many? Well you’re a big girl after all” the little girl nodded earnestly. Hinata walked back over to the cooking pancake and held up the spatula for his daughter.

“Okay flip the pancake on three” Hinata held the pan up to the little girl’s height.

“One…two…three!”

She flipped the pancake with a sizzle, earning a cheer from Kageyama.

“You did great sweetie” he said, kissing the top of her head then Hinatas.

Hinata placed the girl on the ground that ran over to her chair at the table.

“Here sweetie” Kageyama grabbed the box of crayons and a few pieces of paper for her to color on.

Hinata made three more pancakes and brought them over to the table.

“Thanks dad!” the girl said, smiling. Kageyama picked up the coloring stuff as Hinata brought over plates and the syrup. 

“Wait!” the girl reached for Kageyamas arm that had her picture in it. 

“What do we say?”

“Please”

“Good girl” Kageyama handed her the paper in his hand. She sprung up and ran to Hinata. 

“I drew you!” she held up the paper of a slightly disfigured stick figure with orange hair.

Hinatas eyes widened as well as his smile.

“This is so beautiful, I’m gonna put it right here” Hinata placed it on the fridge door and clamped a magnet on it.

The little girl smiled brightly and skipped back over to her breakfast. 

They all sat down and listened to her outrageous story about her dream. 

Kageyama and Hinata of course listened and nodded, smiling brightly.

Hinata looked around and thought back to when he was a kid. When he was young and stupid. He wouldn’t have all this if he hurt himself. 

Hinata must’ve zoned out because he realized that his hand was running over the scars on his stomach.

Kageyama noticed too and looked up, slightly worried. He reached across the table to squeeze Hinatas hand. 

“Love you” Kageyama whispered

“Don’t let go” Hinata mumbled and without even thinking Kageyama responded 

“Never”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed it I have tissues if you need them
> 
> see you tomorrow at 3am when you come back to reread this ;)
> 
> (yes I know the stuff from the summary wasn't in this I just wanted to write their morning routine and also who doesn't love small children cooking......besides the fire department)

**Author's Note:**

> Contact me (or if you want to see HQ and shitposting) at  
> Tumblr: @take-me-to-snurch-snail-church (im also @fandomoverload5 but I don’t use it often)  
> Instagram: @fandomoverload5  
> Kik: @fandomoverload5


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